Let Them… But Also, Let You.

We love to talk about healing. About boundaries. About walking away from people who mistreat us.

But let’s be honest—sometimes it’s not them. It’s us.

Sometimes the real issue isn’t what they did…

It’s how we reacted.

How we let the moment hijack our peace.

How we spiraled, exploded, shut down, or showed up in a way that didn’t reflect the version of ourselves we’re working so hard to become.

I know, because I’ve done it. More than I’d like to admit.

And while “Let Them” is a powerful reminder to release what we can’t control—what we can control is how we respond.

And that’s the part I’m learning to own.

From Reaction to Reflection

I’ve gone through a series of disappointments with people lately.

Some of them were absolutely justified.

But others? If I’m being honest—those reactions were on me.

I was emotionally reactive.

Triggered.

Overwhelmed.

Operating from a place of stress, hurt, or fear instead of grounded truth.

And even when I felt right in the moment, once the dust settled, I was left with the same thing:

Regret.

Embarrassment.

Frustration with myself—not for feeling something, but for how I let those feelings take the wheel.

Let Them Is Just the Beginning

Let them misunderstand.

Let them walk away.

Let them deflect and disappear and do what they’ve always done.

That part? I’ve got down.

I’ve learned to stop chasing people who don’t see me.

I’ve stopped trying to convince anyone to care.

But here’s the part I’m focused on now:

What do I do with the feelings that come after?

What do I do when I’m spiraling, venting, or sending one more long message, hoping it’ll finally land?

Because if I want to be truly healed—

If I want to feel strong, steady, and secure within myself—

Then I have to stop letting my emotions run the show.

What I’m Learning About Accountability

Are some people deserving of the reaction they got from me?

Yes.

But was I deserving of the emotional crash that followed?

Absolutely not.

The spiral.

The self-blame.

The shame for acting in a way that didn’t reflect who I want to be.

Those moments—painful as they are—have become a spotlight on what still needs healing.

Not in them…

In me.

If I keep reacting the same way, I’ll keep repeating the same cycles.

And I’m done living the same lesson over and over.

This Is My Focus in 2025

This year, I’m not just letting go of people who aren’t aligned with me.

I’m letting go of the version of me that still reacts from unhealed places.

I want to pause before I speak.

To choose stillness before a storm.

To be able to say:

“That hurt, but I’m not going to let it take me out of character.”

Not because I’m suppressing how I feel—

But because I’m honoring it in a way that doesn’t cost me my peace.

Let Them… Let Go… and Then Let Yourself Grow

Let them be who they are.

Let them misunderstand.

Let them do what they do.

But don’t stop there.

Let yourself pause.

Let yourself reflect.

Let yourself show up differently.

Because growth isn’t just about walking away from what doesn’t serve you—

It’s about walking into the version of yourself who no longer needs to react.

And that’s the version of me I’m committed to becoming.

Not perfect.

Not unbothered.

Just honest, self-aware, and finally free.

💬 Are your reactions keeping you stuck in the same cycle? What would it look like to pause, reflect, and respond differently next time?

You are your greatest love story. ❤️

-Heartfully Nicole