Grow Through It

Healing isn’t some perfect, peaceful transformation.

It’s uncomfortable. It’s confronting.

And at times—it’s really, really messy.

Old patterns don’t just vanish because you’ve decided to grow. They show up—loud, familiar, and tempting. But the difference now is... I see them.

I see when I start to shrink myself just to keep the peace.

I see when I over-explain, hoping someone will finally respect how I feel.

I see when I try to express my pain—not from strength, but from the hope that maybe, this time, it won’t be dismissed.

And while I’m not proud of every reaction or response,

I no longer shame myself for them—

because I’m learning. I’m unlearning. I’m healing.

This is what healing looks like:

Not perfect. Not polished. Just real—and in progress.

Grace in the Messy Middle

I talk a lot about grace here—and this is why.

Because you will make mistakes as you unlearn the things that kept you stuck.

You will say too much, stay too long, explain yourself to the wrong people.

But through it all, you’ll also get better at noticing the pattern sooner.

You’ll bounce back faster.

You’ll learn how to hold yourself without needing someone else to.

The messy middle is where the growth happens.

Where you finally stop asking, “Why am I still here?” and start saying, “I’m not staying here much longer.”

Yes, I Still Explain Myself—But Now I See It

I still catch myself trying to explain my feelings to people who aren’t really listening.

Trying to share why something hurt me or why I felt disrespected.

Sometimes, I get met with silence.

Or defensiveness.

Or worse—made to feel like I’m the problem.

And I won’t lie—it doesn’t always bring out the best version of me.

But it is still me.

Still part of the version I’m working on.

The Right People Give You Room to Grow

I’m no longer molding myself to earn love or soften my truth to make others comfortable.

I’m learning that the right people—the ones who truly see you—won’t make you beg to be understood.

They’ll listen, even when your voice shakes.

They’ll offer grace when your healing shows through.

They’ll hold space not just for who you are now, but for who you’re becoming.

And for Everyone Else? Let Them.

I still have moments where old pain resurfaces.

I still catch myself wanting someone to acknowledge what they did or how it made me feel.

But I’m learning that I don’t need to blame or explain to reclaim my power.

I don’t need to give energy to people who never truly saw me.

I’m not standing in the pain anymore—I’m standing in the process.

Still growing. Still healing. Still rising.

And this is where The Let Them Theory anchors me.

Let them misunderstand.

Let them pull away.

Let them avoid accountability.

That’s not mine to carry.

Because the people meant for me won’t need convincing.

And the peace I’m building?

It’s too sacred to trade for temporary comfort.

So when the urge to chase clarity creeps in—

I will let them.

And I choose me instead. 💛

When Old Patterns Show Up, I Pause

Yes, I still slip.

I still over-explain.

But now—I see it.

I take a breath.

I return to my words, my reflections.

And I remind myself:

If I have to fight to be seen, I’m in the wrong room.

So I release the need to explain, to be validated, to be treated with care by those who never intended to offer it.

Let them.

Let go.

Let yourself grow.

Because the one person who truly needs to understand you—is you.

And you deserve your fullest love, your loudest voice, and your deepest grace. ❤️

💬 Still navigating your own messy middle? Still catching yourself over-explaining or seeking validation? You’re not alone.

You are your greatest love story. ❤️

-Heartfully Nicole